More Laughs From Will and Guy

The Secret of a Happy Marriage - From R.Hynes of Mornington

My wife and I have the secret to making the marriage last...

Twice a week we go to a nice restaurant, have some good food, a little wine and companionship. She goes Tuesday and I go Friday. We sleep in separate beds, hers in Sydney and mine in Melbourne.

I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.

I asked her where she wanted to go for our anniversary, 'Somewhere I haven't been for a long time' she said. So I suggested the kitchen.

We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.

She has an electric blender, an electric toaster and an electric bread maker. When she said that she had too many gadgets but nowhere to sit down. I bought her an electric chair.

Remember that marriage is the number one cause of divorce. Statistically 100% of all divorces started with marriage. I married Ms. Right, I just didn't know that her first name was ALWAYS.

I haven't spoken to her in 18 months now - I don't like to interrupt her. The last time we had a fight, it was my fault. She asked 'What is on the TV?' I said 'It looks like Dust'.

In the beginning; God created the earth and rested. Then God, created the man and rested. Then God created woman. And since then neither God nor man has rested.


Arresting time - OOOPS

A police officer in a small town stopped a motorist who was speeding down Main Street.
'But officer, 'the man began, 'I can explain.'

'Quiet!' snapped the officer.' I'm going to let you spend the night in jail until the chief gets back.'
'But, officer, I just wanted to say, '

'And I said be quiet! you're going to jail!'

A few hours later the officer looked in on his prisoner and said, 'Lucky for you, the chief's at his daughter's wedding. he'll be in a good mood when he gets back.'

'Don't count on it, 'answered the guy in the cell.' I'm the groom!.'



Bride was a Picture

A Texan woman had a wedding cake made into a life-sized model of herself. Chidi Ogbuta, 35, had the 5ft cake made to renew her vows after 10 years of marriage to husband Innocent.

The £3,000 cake took five weeks to make, needed two gallons of amaretto, 50lbs of sugar, 200 eggs and weighed a whopping 400lb.

It needed four men to lift it into the wedding venue!

Making Your Own Invitations

You can save a lot of money by making your own homemade wedding invitations but not only that, there are people who can afford to get their wedding invitations made, but who often prefer to make them themselves as another personalized touch to their wedding day.

With digital cameras and digital imaging on computers it is a lot easier these days for people to create their own wedding invitations.

There are many different forms you can choose for the words and most art shops have
a wide range of beautiful papers that you can print your wedding invitations on.

It can add a lot to the excitement and anticipation of the wedding if you and your partner go out to choose the products that you will both be using to make your wedding invitations.

You can also choose photographs of yourselves that you can add to your invitations and these may even include some special moments in your life that you would like to share with other people.

You can get good ideas by looking at the commercial wedding invitations that are available and even get samples of these to help you plan your own invitations.

By saving the expense of going to a commercial printer or buying standard wedding invitations you can come up with something a lot more creative then the money saved can go into other areas of your wedding or honeymoon.

It is still well worth considering particularly if you aren’t rushed to get things done and there is enough time before your wedding date to complete your task well.

If you allow enough time for possible failure and if your idea is not how you would prefer your invitations to look then and then only, you can always go back and order your wedding invitations from a professional service. Well at least you tried and as the initial cost of the materials is minimal you will know that you both had fun trying - like a lot of things in life really.

The process of trying to create your own will help you to get what you like even if you do need to resort to a commercial supplier

Women and Weddings

• Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them. Alexandre Dumas