Have a Laugh - A Point System for Men

For all you potential groooms out there who just can't work it out, here it is: In the world of romance, one single rule applies: Make your bride happy. Do something she likes and you get points. Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted. You don't get any points for doing something she expects...Sorry, that's the way the game is played.

Here is a guide to the point system.

Simple Duties:
You make the bed	+1
You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows	0
You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets	-1
You leave the toilet seat up	-5
You replace the toilet-paper roll when it's empty	0
When the toilet-paper roll is barren, you resort to Kleenex	-1
When the Kleenex runs out you shuffle slowly to the next bathroom	-2
You go out to buy her spring-fresh extra-light panty liners with wings	+5
But return with beer	-5
You check out a suspicious noise at night	0
You check out a suspicious noise and it's nothing	0
You check out a suspicious noise and it's something	+5
You pummel it with a six iron	+10
It's her father	-10
Social Engagements:
You stay by her side the entire party	0
You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a college drinking buddy	-2
Named Tiffany	-4
Tiffany is a dancer	-6
Tiffany has implants	-8
Her Birthday:
You take her out to dinner	0
You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar	+1
Okay, it is a sports bar	-2
And it's all-you-can-eat night	-3
It's a sports bar, it's all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted the colors of your favorite team	-10
A Night Out With The Boys:
Go out with a pal	-5
And the pal is happily married	-4
Or frighteningly single	-7
And he drives a Mustang	-10
With a personalized license plate (GR8 N BED)	-15
A Night Out:
You take her to a movie	+2
You take her to a movie she likes	+4
You take her to a movie you hate	+6
You take her to a movie you like	-2
It's called DeathCop 3	-3
Which features cyborgs having sex	-9
You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans	-15
Your Physique:
You develop a noticeable potbelly	-15
You develop a noticeable potbelly and exercise to get rid of it	+10
You develop a noticeable potbelly and resort to loose jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts	-30
You say "I don't give a damn because you have one too"	-800
The Big Question:
She asks, "Do I look fat?"	-5
You hesitate in responding	-10
You reply, "Where?"	-35
Communication:
When she wants to talk about a problem, you listen, displaying what looks like a concerned expression	0
When she wants to talk, you listen, for over 30 minutes	+5
You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV	+10
She realizes this is because you've fallen asleep	-20

Friends, Love & Relationships

Friendships are a form of relationship built on different types of love. When man and woman join in love and relationship, intimacy overshadows the arrangement, however in friendship a different type of intimacy exists which makes the relationship work. Friendships work with the exception that sex is not included in the scenario. Some friends later commit to a sexual relationship, which in turn can in the long term lead to either commitment or separation.

Friendships which are long lasting often include the very ingredients that can make relationships work. Friends may cause each other agitation, frustration, or even unintentional harm but they will work together to find resolution to their relationship problem.

Friendship is a form of commitment between two or more people, and often as a group will join in activities, entertainment, and communication. True friends will remain true to the end. Friends will not interfere with each other’s life, unless said friend sees the need to address an issue that has the possibility to cause his/her friend harm.

True friends will not hold back when addressing issues with friends. While the friend will not hold back he or she will consider the other person’s feelings when addressing issues. Friends watch your back, and that is a true symbol of love which endures throughout the trials and tribulations of any relationship.

Friends may disagree at times, but both parties will apologise for their part in instigating said disagreement. However you can be quite sure that a true friend will tell you when you are wrong, even agreeing to disagree with you while holding their own thoughts on the matter.

Friendships that develop into intimate relationships often find that their union will work due to fact that friendship came before intimacy. On this basis friendship prior commitment is wise as the two involved have knowledge of the other’s behaviors, habits, personality, skills, etc.

Love and relationships built on true friendship will last through all sorts of habits, behaviours, personality flaws, providing violence or repeated actions of inconsideration and disrespect is not in the mix.

When mates disrespect each other, or show ongoing inconsideration, the relationship will fail, since friendship, love and the elements that compose love are lacking.

Disrespect expands further than most people think. Learning about the beliefs, traditions, and standards of others is intelligent if you consider that an important element of love and relationships is respect. If you start out as a friend this will help as you are in a better position to understand another’s behaviors, habits and personality. Additionally you are in a prime position to assess and gain insight into his/her moral standards, traditions, and belief structure.

Beliefs are inherent to the informed mind. However since standards appear to be somewhat lower today; unformed or even uninformed beliefs seem to be based on inconsistency and dishonesty. Superficial beliefs rarely stand firm. When a person lacks evidence to support their beliefs it would appear that faulty thinking is at fault. Beliefs are either concrete or superficial. If both parties in the new relationship do not share the same or even similar belief structures it maybe that the accelerated friendship will not last.

It would appear that what determines the long term outcome of friendship, love and relationship depends on the innate formation of the persons involved?

What about personal compatibility, what role does it play in friendship, love and relationship…

Compatibility by definition means to exist together in agreement. When two compatible people agree to start a relationship it remains to be seen whether the agreement to co-habit will last. The agreement can and will change – everyone matures and grows as should the relationship. However a basic question is at what rate do the changes occur? Will the partnership remain equal? People are not the same. Some grow and learn exponentially while others remain stagnant.

Maybe one person is in the workforce earning a great of money while his/her partner remains at home as a home wife/husband. If these two people do not make it their business to support each other then success can cast a long shadow as temptations loom and people are hurt.

On the other hand incompatibility can cause volcanic disturbance to a relationship through the inconvenience and distress engendered. While the definition illustrates a possible partnership breakdown or failure into the future many relationships built on incompatibility have proved enduring, particularly when minds were changed after facts were gathered, which in turn led to a change in personal convictions.

Personal conviction is basic. Truth will out. And when you have truth, you have conviction, no one can argue with you…and on this basis truth, love, and respect in personal interaction supports the inherent structure that starts in friendship and continues into love and long term relationships.

a.a.gallagher

copyright 2007

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Handling the Alchohol and its cost to you!

Alcohol is a very expensive part of the wedding arrangements and it can use up a lot of your available cash very quickly.

Having an open bar can be very dangerous for your wallet particularly if your guests prefer spirits or other expensive beverages.

You can limit the time that the bar is open or the type of beverages that are available. The time of the day or night that you have your wedding can also affect the type of alcohol that is preferred and the quantity that is drunk with most people less likely to drink as much if the wedding is earlier in the day.

Many people are having alcohol free weddings these days and that is an alternative that you might like to consider or even just offering the cheaper beverages such as beer and wine rather than champagne and spirits.

It might also be well worth considering just having specific amounts of alcohol on each table to maintain a level of consumption that your wallet can handle.

Often people will have an arrangement where everybody gets one glass of champagne when they arrive at the reception area and this can be a nice touch where you can have some control over the amount of consumption.

From there you can offer a choice of red and white wines on the table and possibly have beer on tap for a certain time at the reception.

You are free to mix and match your plans to suit your guests, your wallet, and the way that you would like to see your wedding run.

At the end of the day no one specific aspect of the wedding should have so much emphasis as to affect the overall enjoyment of the event.

If there are wedding guests that you know will consume too much alcohol then you will need to take this into consideration when planning your beverages.

On Choosing A Wife!

A man wanted to get married. He was having trouble choosing among three
likely candidates. He gives each woman a present of $5,000 and watches
to see what they do with the money.

The first does a total make over. She goes to a fancy beauty salon gets
her hair done, new make up and buys several new outfits and dresses up
very nicely for the man. She tells him that she has done this to be
more attractive for him because she loves him so much.

The man was impressed.

The second goes shopping to buy the man gifts. She gets him a new set
of golf clubs, some new gizmos for his computer, and some expensive
clothes. As she presents these gifts, she tells him that she has spent
all the money on him because she loves him so much.

Again, the man is impressed.

The third invests the money in the stock market. She earns several !
times the $5,000. She gives him back his $5000 and reinvests the
remainder in a joint account. She tells him that she wants to save for
their future because she loves him so much.

Obviously, the man was impressed.

The man thought for a long time about what each woman had done with the
money he'd given her.

Then, he married the one with the biggest boobs.

Men are like that, you know.

Let Them Eat Cake - Wedding That Is!

A wedding cake can be as simple or as extravagant as you like and accordingly can be relatively inexpensive or enough to break the bank.

The reason wedding cakes are often so expensive is due to the intricate work that is involved and the many hours of labor that are required to create the decorations.

For some people this is an expense that they feel is unnecessary and a simple cake or alternative form of 'symbolic food' such as a favorite dessert or something similar can be used.

More often than not however people prefer a traditional wedding cake and in keeping with the rest of the theme of the wedding it is generally decorated in colors similar to those of the flowers and any other decorations at the reception.

Certainly by reducing the size of the wedding cake it can help to keep the costs down and also by keeping the cake less intricate in its decorations you can save yourself a lot of money.

You can also use your flower arrangements or other forms of decoration that are more cost-effective to enhance the look of the wedding cake and keep the cake itself relatively plain and simple.

It really is a case of weighing up the expense with the importance that you put on the style of cake that you prefer and whether you can save money elsewhere to get the cake you desire.

Once again do your research and get some prices from various different suppliers of wedding cakes and also consider asking your friends and family if they know anybody who does cake decorating as many people do it for a hobby and will be only too willing to help out on the special occasion.

Often you can get somebody to create your cake for the cost of the materials alone and this can be their gift to you for your wedding rather than paying for something else.

One important thing that you must remember however is to check their work to see if it is up to a standard that you would be happy to have at your wedding and don't feel obliged to use their services if you aren’t satisfied.

A Smart Remark!

When I married the first time - a little while back now - on the morning of the "great event" my fiance came a knocking at my door to give me a huge bunch of flowers. Now being of a somewhat superstitious nature I thought Lovely but bad luck - you know the old superstitiion " a groom should never see his bride before the wedding or else" or words to that effect.

Anyway I took the flowers inside and said "see you in church" before reading the card.

The card read - "Congratulations on your good choice!"

I still laugh over that one.

The Need To Find A Good Caterer

People will always remember the food at a wedding and while you don't need to go overboard with the expenditure, good planning can ensure that your guests will be impressed with the food without breaking the bank.

Where finances are tight consider changing the time of day and the type of meal as people won't be expecting to get quite so much food for a wedding brunch or lunch as they would for an evening meal.

You can do your own catering if you've got the time and you have people with the ability to prepare good food that you can trust to be reliable and come through when needed.

You can also spend the varying amounts of money on employing caterers who are accustomed to servicing weddings.

Wedding catering is big business these days and there is a lot of competition in the market so you have a lot of choices to suit most budgets.

The first step is to do some ringing around just to get an idea of the estimates for the number of guests that you have coming.
Often reception houses will have their own caterers or specific caterers that they use and can be relied on.
This can be an easier solution and more often than not the best solution both financially and for the quality of the food as they will be familiar with preparing and displaying the food in familiar surroundings.

Talk to the places that you are considering having your reception and see what sort of package they can come up with for the venue and the caterers combined.

By having a theme wedding this will often dictate the type of food that you will be having and that can determine whether it will be expensive will not.

A theme wedding might also dictate your choice of caterers and might reduce your available alternatives. This can often push up the price and will need to be taken into consideration.

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Look out for more on themed weddings